Woven with Wit. Backed by Banter. Powered by Dankness.
Seeking to become the reason someone snorts in public...
About Us
Welcome to Johnny Dank Threads - the sacred temple of internet stupidity, funny t-shirts based on your favorite movie quotes, and whatever meme made you laugh way too hard at 2am.
This isn't just a t-shirt store,
It's a shrine to the absurd.
Built for comedy fans, weirdos, class clowns, and kids like me who grew up idolizing the likes of The Three Stooges, Pee-Wee Herman, The Chapelle Show, Mr. Bean, South Park, and The Simpsons - a generation raised on "inappropriate" jokes, flip phones, and the occasional cartoon anarchy.
What We Do
We make shirts that speak fluent Internet.
If you've ever:
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Made a "That's what she said." joke
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Tried to feed a llama a casserole
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Taken a running start at hitting a golf ball
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or recommended that the band add "More Cowbell",
Then congratulations - you're home!
Our designs are inspired by:
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Dumb arguments on Reddit
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Low-res memes with high emotional impact
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That one guy in the friend group chat who quotes Step Brothers and Borat like it's scripture
Who Is Johnny Dank?
A mythical cigar smoking chimpanzee with a dream? He's part Ron Burgundy, part spirit animal of every dude who thinks quoting Dodgeball is a personality.
Is he real? Doesn't matter.
Is he wearing cargo shorts and Crocs right now? Spiritually, yes.
Johnny Dank is a mindset, a lifestyle, and anyone who is brave enough to wear a shirt in public that says "World's Greatest Father/Farter" and mean it.
Why We Exist
Because life's too short to wear boring shirts.
Because memes are the last pure form of communication.
Because someone out there needs a shirt that says "Emotional Support Burrito".
So welcome to the madness.
Browse responsibly.
And remember: Your new favorite shirt can be found here, and its probably quoting Homer Simpson or dancing like Pee-Wee Herman.
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